Of Picking Confidence

I had shed tears last night, the sounds meandered with rain hitting the tree leaves
I wondered what the birds in the nest are doing, are they safe,
a two second gap of care and random thoughts amidst this

Nothing really changed today morning
with irritation and ache for a change, I woke up
I really don’t want to wake up this way, but I did
dealing with it the easy way
get over it.
Put your two pounds cheap ego in the garbage bag
that has to go to the unethical landfills,
now wake up, smile
Here- that is you giving yourself another chance to survive
this game
Brush, bathe, eat- it’s hard to get into goodness

I walked a little, staring up at the birds and their safe chirps
a little more to do the chores, to show on the outside,
with a beaming smile, to show I am more than fine
then walk, to the tiny place where the solace is found
or that is what you think when there is no one to question you
not even yourself because you are there, to please yourself
to hunt for the gazillion thoughts and put it in line, like a school of army,
the bees store nectar in the tiny cubicles like this place
There is positivity in inches you walk and breathe
it is the vibe that hundreds brought to this place
and that is why I like coming here
to add my part

And when you come to the right place you kind of realise, you came in to store the positivity
in one of the cubicles and not here to pick some
I am walking back along the flower vendors, I see little things now, happy petals
and by the time I have reached home, I know,
I have picked the confidence I need to live the day, few moments,
from the birds that survived the rain,
from the stranger faces I saw while doing chores,
from beyond the walls in the solace place
from the flower vendors’ joyous flowers,

All you need is a walk, that day.

Strivers

to receive the love, or to not
to receive the trust, or to not
to get anything you yearned for, or to not-
you can not rebel;
life accepts the strivers and not the rebels

My World As Flowers

My world in flowers so clustered, boisterous, echoing the complicated yet beautiful hues and values that I carry around.

Hue Storm

each bit around me is so naturally extreme,
in its deepest colours,
in saturated details that poke my eyes,
the sunsets so dense,
and the situations so dark,
and everything, eventually isn’t falling in place,
are these all a mere deceptive, hue storm?

A tiny Chai Anecdote

It is a chilly Friday evening and he just returned home from work.
It calls for a steaming hot chai, to clear out the day’s stress, to celebrate the surpassing of city traffic and to sit by the window sill with the day’s newspaper, relishing the chai. His wife aces the Darjeeling tea recipe, he believes. A hint of elaichi and ginger in right proportion has sorted out the tea recipe on most days. He is like us, waiting for the evening tea to relax his senses. The fresh Darjeeling tea is being drained and the bliss slides in slowly.
It is all in the little things, you see.

Two Dragonflies Chilling By The Ivy Arched Window Pane

We all have one of those days when everything seems unfinished. We are unsure about the chapter on the next blank page, about the pending chores that we left for an apparent tomorrow, about the next moment where we were supposed to begin with a pre-planned activity. This immature mess builds up steadily in the mind’s landfill and becomes a sheer garbage before you realise years have passed!

…..With a chill timid breeze beating up gently, I stand behind my tea stained ebony railing, facing hundreds of willow trees. It is a fresh two day getaway before I join my allied mess. All I’m sure about at this point is the imagination running through the wilderness of my mind, that moment. My mind’s wafting wilderness itches the strangeness of the evening. Far away, I can see two dragonflies chilling by the ivy arched window pane. One goes to the other and showers all the love it has. Your golden laced wings are beautiful, it says. The vines running along my ebony railing goes and ends above that rose cottage. The tender pink roses have bloomed and merged onto the corner of roof. They had a tough misty morning. They just dried themselves out from the drenching dew and a tiring work session. Don’t even get me started about the sunflowers standing near the silver door. Their fashion parade in the noon to attract the bee swarm was such a drama- I have lesser drama in my life. 

My coffee arrives as I start looking into the crisp green grass. I look back into the willows and everything strikes back, but in bits. I get the clarity of my mess as I sip and stare into the chamomiles amid the crisp greens. The whites gave me confidence to sail through the plume of unorganised thoughts.

My perfumed skin felt numb against all that I was trying to push inside me; fragility was a reason. In the bizarre evening, I try to tune the mess to art, little by little. I try to mouth emptiness into beauty, make music in the ash grey heaven. I also try to understand you like how the paper supple roses mend itself, get you. 

It is just another day where I figured out that this is the reason why nature never goes outdated. It mends you. It mends you like no other, from within. 

In Search Of Him

you have heard many stories
of pines and cedars
but this:
a scene of loss,
peril
my fingertips tremble
and freeze as i touch
the rose gold fountain pen
i blink twice
my smoky lids as i
explore him
about
on the papers;
so unfamiliar with my language, sheets
quiver as I stride my nails on
letters and words search for fervour
as i even think of him
everytime
on a paper
under fading pink skies
amid the pines
in a word, letter
for you and me
he is new
and gone, long gone

I’m not worthy of you, I’m not

Self Destruction: Lesser Confidence, Body Shaming

One of the best lines I have heard in these few days (from one of my friends)- “It has been four years for now that a thing has hampered my confidence in any slightest way.” This one sentence triggered me to think and rethink about the way I’m living, the purpose and the little things that destruct me.

It is such a rare thing for anyone to tell, in a world where people take criticisms to the heart, who live for the sake of satisfying others, who do things just to get good credits and who live trying hard to impress others. In such situations, it becomes so easy to pierce a person and kill their confidence.

Few busy days, few free ones. In both the cases, you just need few seconds to doubt yourself, your deeds, your worth; to kill something which was built working hard for years. That’s the worst you can ever do to yourself-  turning self destructive.

Body shaming is one of the things that I’ve come across. Unless and until you’re confident about each of your atom, you cannot expect others to respect you. If you are confident about yourself then it would not even matter if someone criticizes. It took me a lot of time to accept that it is okay to be skinny as I am and there’s nothing wrong in that.

Dears,

Those confused thoughts, misty questions, unpoised face. That’s not you. That’s just a mask. There’s more. Underneath the skin, beyond everyone’s bounds, into the veins, among the misfits, you’re more, more than anyone can measure. You’re the one who is fit for it. A beautiful, thrilling soul that many crave for. If you mask it, doubt it, isn’t it unfair? You’re the one. You are it.
Trust. Believe.
Faith?
Yes, faith!

Loads of love,
The Mirthful Moon

And then comes ‘over confidence’. There’s just a thin line between both and we should make sure that we don’t bloat with pride. 🙂

 

Have a confident day, beautiful soul!

 

 

 

deceptive side

It takes ages, to surpass the bad you’re going through. It will take a plethora of seconds to realize your place in the situation, to sort out a solution, to admit that this is a deceptive side and you have a completely different view the other side of the same situation.

It doesn’t mean in anyway that the ‘grass is always greener on the other side’

You just can’t blame yourself for everything that happened. It simply means- you take time to realize what really happened and which is the right side.

The world is fast. It requires quick changes and it appreciates the quick people. But, if it’s not happening with you to change, then wait. Just get out of the crowd, stand in the middle of an extravagant space and breathe. There’s no wrong in halting or breathing slow, your tender veins need the time to revitalize and get the pace. 

Let the world run ahead. You walk, admire yourself and the things around you, take your time to explore the right side. Get away from the deceptive one.

There’s nothing wrong in walking through the right side rather than running breathless on the deceptive.

you can keep quiet
halt numb
how much ever you wish to
destress your fragile soul
it might take some more time
just a little more
to reach the other end
a line away
from this
‘deceptive’ side

Quietness is not weakness and know this- you are all the lights of the darkest hour, you’re brave.

Have a beautiful and calm day.