A winter morning, she wakes up when the mobile’s alarm is doing its duty for the third time. She curses her life for keeping her alive a day more. Struggling out of her bed, she gets ready to go to her school. As she walks downstairs carrying her evil thoughts she checks and rechecks by thinking whether she has taken everything needed. Shivering when the cold breeze hits against her body, she moves forward where her van picks her up. It’s still dark, pitch dark. The thought of what she has to face that day sickens her more than the blackness does. The van, which is usually stuffed with children, like it’s pregnant from years and has never delivered any, is in which she has to travel. That suffocates her more than the polluted air does. The smog strangles her thoughts too, making it deadlier than ever. She thinks, Someone save me….
To escape from everything, she looks up and around to find some relief in the infinite space; she finds herself netted and trapped under the communication wires, cables and tall man-made structures. The tree, sunrise, sunset, rainbow, ocean, lake, garden, flower, rain.. – few of the words that exist just in her dictionary. She has mastered the art of crying aloud without a tear and the expressions being seen. She’s terribly stuck up in the modern world which she loathes about. That is when her van comes.
She fits into it, searching for any soul with whom she can talk to. How will she find any person today, when these many years’ trial was in vain! Before solitude haunts her, the destination is reached. Now her real battle starts because this is where people ask her to do what they want (she hates that). Her desires stay confined. She opens her book and instead of words and sentences, she finds terrifying pictures of the haunting days ahead she has to live. Feeling to shout on top of her voice, not being able to study, not being able to talk to anyone, not being able to enjoy this modern life, not being able to digest when others are imposing their ideas on her, she laments. Her deadly thoughts are now curbing her senses, leaving her evil, completely evil. She thinks, Someone save me….
She doesn’t like to watch movies or television programmes, party hard, live a mechanical life or live, just because she’s alive. She wants- someone to talk to peacefully, to admire nature, to live the life her way, to escape from the things that haunt her, but not knowing what it is! She thinks, Someone save me….
Then she decides something sitting in the class. Something big. Something very big. To escape from all the worst, terrific and deadliest negativity, she finds a solution.
She leaves her place, starts running. No one there even cares. She runs up the stairs, panting, still runs, because she has gotten a solution after all, which is going to solve these many years’ struggle.
She reaches the terrace, the 5th floor. Without even giving a thought, she manages to get on top of the railing.
She stands still, closes her eyes tightly and starts counting before she jumps. 10…. 9…… 8… 7…. 6………
Here, I fall from my bed.
Feeling BLUHH. A dream. I say, “Dream – you can’t be more horrible” as i get up and go to the powder room to splash some water on my face.
Relief means, THIS. I experienced the deepest of relief when I woke up. I saved her finally.